Tag Archives | love power

Schools, Too, Are Like Love: The Power of the Least Interested, part 5

So if this kid doesn’t want to be in school, and the teacher wants him to be, who wins?  Welcome to The Power of The Least Interested inside the school room.

Teacher workshops, trainings and discussions often focus on how to make reluctant high school students become more interested in learning. Engaging students becomes, of course, the job of the teacher, who is struggling not only to prove to these disinterested kids that learning is interesting, but also to gain acceptance. The onus is on the teacher to pull the uninterested student into the relationship and into the world of learning—and until she accomplishes this, her less interested students have power over her (and, often, over her career!).  National programs like the Critical Friends Group, which supports and encourages teachers, are proof that the least interested—the kids—hold the power. It’s not the children who come together to figure out how to deal with the most interested, but rather, the teachers in need of the enormous support, encouragement and confidence-building necessary to tackle the powerful! And teachers often use Critical Friends Group as an opportunity to discuss successful methods for engaging students while sharing tricks of the trade. Continue Reading →


The Power of the Least Interested – Part 1

I’ve been thinking a great deal about the notion of power in love. Not power as in control, but how it is that the person in a relationship who cares the least has so much of the power—at least in the early stages. A piece in Psychology Today this week features the work of three social scientists studying uncertainty in romantic attraction.  Their study counters the “reciprocity principle” of attraction, which states, in effect, that if someone is attracted to you, you’ll be more attracted to him—and vice versa.

If only. More often, uncertainty is key. Wanting is an unruly thing, and reciprocity—being wanted back—doesn’t always satisfy. Follow me on this for a couple of blogs—I think you’ll find it all as fascinating as I do. Continue Reading →