The Power of the Least Interested – Part 1

(Part 1 of 5)

I’ve been thinking a great deal about the notion of power in love. Not power as in control, but how it is that the person in a relationship who cares the least has so much of the power—at least in the early stages. A piece in Psychology Today this week features the work of three social scientists studying uncertainty in romantic attraction.  Their study counters the “reciprocity principle” of attraction, which states, in effect, that if someone is attracted to you, you’ll be more attracted to him—and vice versa.

If only. More often, in my long experience in this field, uncertainty is key.

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Dalma Heyn is a psychotherapist and author

Welcome to My Blog

For many years I’ve written books in which women express their deepest feelings about the tricky and often paralyzing negotiation between intimacy and self; between pleasure and pleasing. This blog continues where my books leave off–looking at an evolving culture and its new choices for women; and the evolving women who are expressing a bold new vision for the place of love, marriage, spirituality and accomplishment in their lives.

– Dalma Heyn

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Trust Your Gut When Dating Online

When Angela “met” Tim online—that is, when he first responded to her profile—she got a fluttery feeling in her stomach that she wasn’t sure was excitement or warning. He liked her photo—could they go out that night? No? Why not? She was beautiful for her age, he said, and what’s more, he was handsome and [...]

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